Giving up on the twice a day Saphris just gonna do it once a day.

I have taken Saphris twice today

I only take it once at night, but I tried taking it today in the afternoon. It mellowed me out and I feel sedated, but I wonder how sex and driving would be. I am on the fence if I should continue taking it during the day. The voices did quiet down, and it is safer than Kolodopin but then again that is true. But I am trying not to go back to that. But if I do it is once a day.

And while it may be true that some people don’t care about you or me, the fact is some people do care about what we have to say or think, and it is on them if they can’t handle the truth.

It will depend on if I can eat food safely without overeating and how sex and driving go, but overall, I feel good, but very sedated, I should probably only take it at night.

And the reason I didn’t take 3 classes which I should have been because I registered late, not assuming I had to take anything I was wrong, would need to do 3 in summer and I would be ready for the next chapter. Summer would be jam packed I assume but I got nothing else on my plate.

I am mad at myself for thinking I had all the classes ready to move on, but now I can’t move on yet like I said my lawyer is looking into what I did wrong on my application.

I loved how I felt after the initial 2 hours of taking it where I was a zombie, I still am a zombie, but I don’t feel like moving too much maybe I should just do 10mg once every night or stick to the 5mg per night which is probably best.

And I won’t give up on school ever again, I need to at least finish, and it could take me like 2 and a half or 3 and a half years or somewhere in between till I am done. But I won’t let temptation or laziness distract me, and I will work very hard to get hired one day.

If the scenario of me not being able to land an internship happens I will get feedback on how to increase my odds, not sure why they would want me to have work experience in the food industry but if that helps I could do that, I could also do music full time and perform and get a manager after I get my degree, but I hope to land a job of course. I would figure out if I don’t get a call back, why it got rejected etc.

But since I am a medicated person, and I am schizophrenic etc. I am trying to be a productive member of society, and I think part of the problem is I keep trying to wrap my head around complex issues, when it is simpler than I think.

Let us see if by 2027 or 2028 the latest I am done with school. But I am 100% sure I would not get black listed from a company or not hired or fired for having a website where I discuss the details of my life, it would be unfair to me and I am sure tons of people at gaming companies discuss mental health and real world problems like “how to get a girl” and have any other employees once hired hookers, etc. And maybe some relation to what I have been through.

However, bosses of some companies’ smaller ones, like a chiropractic office that kicked me out of their office claiming I was using copyright when I knew it was my offensive songs etc. That was a blow to me, and it’s not the end of the world, but I would never be able to have a boss like that guy, a little self-absorbed and not compassionate about my mental health standing. Companies like his, even as small as his with only like 5 or 6 employees should discuss being fair to people like me who just choose to share their link and not excommunicate them.

I think the only way you could get fired for a website is if you were “doing something extreme or really racist, nothing I’ve posted so far suggests that.” But at maybe 3% of companies or 10% of companies in the world I would get excluded if the boss was an ass about me just being myself on the internet.

I do not like that Mark, my lawyer, didn’t show up to my graduation but hopefully the next one, if not it’s not the end of the world. I thought some big surprise was happening, but I was wrong.

I could always ask a game company, do I need like 1 year of work experience with my mother’s real estate in order to get in as an intern or 1 year in the food industry. I am considering a part time job eventually somewhere, but I may not tell people on here where I work, you know in case some people don’t like me or want to harass me.

I just do not like how Saphris in the morning or afternoon makes me feel, I feel like I want to sleep, and I can’t. I am trying to switch to Cobenfy in the near future, but then again, it’s a pain in the behind. I may succumb to kolodpins on days of high anxiety, I tried Buspar and they made me way to hungry if kolodopin does that I will give up that then.

 

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