Buspirone how it effected my day & I remember long legs of students and my mother during my episode of going to rehab at school.

Buspirone how it effected my day & I remember long legs of students and my mother during my episode of going to rehab at school.

Woah my anxiety is different, the Buspirone has numbed me out, I had to test my horny level as well and I was noticeably less horny, but I also don’t want to be that numb. I would imagine a benzo is much stronger because I have had it, I am on the fence about going back to it, the antipsychotic with the benzo would make me extra tired.

I got the Adderall for the days I need it, but once I take 4 classes I may need it daily like a functioning addict. I played some good halo games while numbed on the Buspirone and got a game with 17 kills more than anyone, but we still lost. I also had great gameplay. If I was on a benzo my gameplay may have been impaired. Also, sex on Xanax and kolodopin is very dull and boring.

I got a quiz I should look into doing but have put it off, the anti-anxiety med has made me want to take the quiz, because my anxiety was going away but then again if I took the Adderall and hit start, I would be forced to begin, and have been reading the materials etc.

Also, the time when I was going through my episode and sending weird emails to my teachers etc. I thought I had imagined my mother tall and one student from another class across the hall was super tall one day. It was a serious episode I had a bad one and I can’t put my finger on it.

Was it the fact that my whole family encouraged me to get off the Saphris and eventually when they tried introducing it to me slowly, I refused to take it in fear of gaining weight again and being the fat loser girls wouldn’t like. Because when I got off it, it was going well for a long time and I was losing weight like a mofo, and now even wanting to switch to Vraylar or Cobenfy the new antipsychotic my mom made me get threatening on the phone because she wants me to stick to the Saphris.

2 problems with the Saphris, I can’t force myself to wake up at 7am or 6am the way I would like, and the other problem is I don’t get natural sleep. The other thing a third point to make is if I take Saphris I at night to sleep I am more tempted to light up a joint once in a while for the time once I lower my weight and I won’t go through withdraw of sleepless nights because I could get high for a day or 2 and quit the next week and be off weed completely. So, in reality, Saphris is a crutch for my benzo addiction etc. because it is also a sleeping pill in essence.

I would avoid weed for now though and may avoid it all together hopefully. I love the weed vlogs, but maybe I think sometimes they could be doing more with their lives if they weren’t high all the time.

I have over come certain parts of porn addiction as well. I will leave it at that. I think pretending like I have a spouse or significant other I talk to when I talk to myself sometimes helps me visualize what I could say wrong etc.

I wish the school would have forgiven me and let me go back to that specific campus and let me have the formulas but oh well all online now and close to graduating.

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