My creative process, some humility here, telling you about my soul, I may fail at life and I always will be a failure in some people’s eyes, but I still love to talk to you guys and thanks for staying tuned.
I use what I see on YouTube. Like rap and r & b. What else should I use? I’m not the type of blogger to use those videos of catching pedos and grow hatred in the community on that subject. I think we should punish them to a degree, but offer rehabilitation.
Maybe I am trying to convince you I could be right about my philosophy and convince you I can make soul uplifting music and promote others who inspire me.
And sometimes I feel like no one wants to hire me. Which could be the case for some CEOs or companies. But is it possible a slight possibly some CEOs and owners of establishments wouldn’t mind or care much if I posted on my free time? I wonder sometimes a lot about these things.
And should I give up web design if like only 10,000 to 30,000 people disliked it out of the millions that loved the music I found to share etc. I mean I wish I could give this sort of internet life up. But I just can’t at the moment and the day I do give up it would more than likely need to be because of a game design job which when applying I could ask the boss if my blog is not wrong to have if I get hired. I also am studying for school now and got no time for a job, bruh I am 30 and got to graduate and I get wired like a lot a month.
And again, if I could just leave things up for the world to see or maybe only keep the music up and the game design and post once a week or a lot less that’s the only way. But even posting once a week or once a month is sort of like giving up. I like to try daily and my mood changes from time to time.
And trust me every time I try to give up, and just not blog, I just can’t find it in me to do that, some of you love me or hate me or both, and the kids probably appreciate me. But what would I do with my free time besides gaming, watching T.V and homework and stuff? The dating world is not fun under my circumstances.
Maybe once I am in a better place or in a relationship I could post, less, but for now I get lonely, and hey what if a million or more of you are in similar situations.
I will also tell you the truth, I think gaming companies may know about me and they may grow attached to me and love me and respect me and maybe tons of lawyers and cops love my work and respect me as well, and even love me. So the point is, I sometimes get down on myself, but if a CEO told me I had to quit this dream to work there I would try my best to do that, but again maybe I would just perform and build a following and just decline drugs and only perform in Florida, or maybe they do give me a chance because they think I am a great guy.
And it is okay to fail in life as well, I have failed all those months and years when I did nothing but now I am succeeding by finishing school, it is possible I never make this game which could be the best game ever made, it is possible I only end up a local performer and never end up meeting Drake, and as sad as that is for me to say, I don’t give up posting or making music because I always believed in myself and I know a lot of you reading always believed in me.
I may not ever be as good as some artist but I do love to share in these moments, and I cry sometimes knowing Hey maybe Mod Ash hates me and doesn’t love me. Or maybe he loves it, I don’t know, I wonder what they think of giving up philia. Would they let Eminem, who is a success work at their company, who has rapped about worse things then me? I trashed a lot of my old stuff that was bad, and kept what I thought worked, I am only human.
After Hours The Weeknd (maybe I should take these beats after The Spiritual Atheist or for it with some Vulture IDK)
Entourage Johnny Drama Best Bits Part 1
The Weeknd’s Final Album: What We know
The Best of Johnny Drama! Entourage
The best of Johnny Drama Chase Part 2
Drake
You will all be witnesses, we’re gonna make it out the west brah