Apology to Delilah and Apology to a teacher I wronged who I won’t name

Delilah was a tall girl with black hair that was long. A girl that I thought I loved. Maybe I just wanted her for the wrong reasons. However, I will leave my apology up. I am sorry for what I did in class. I had mania an episode from my bipolar disorder. I hope I can be forgiven by you. Since the teacher may have spoken about me to the students and she knew of my website while I was having my episode.

My other apology is to the greatest math teacher close to a different one I had for summer. They both are great. I hope she forgives me for wronging her and making her feel uncomfortable. I was posting to much hatred and not making any sense, I was in a different place in my life.

Hopefully all will be forgiven. I will be patient and rise again. I cried in rehab a lot about all the good things I lost and for how I made others feel. True repentance but not in God, but in people the real people who loved me and cared for me my family and teachers who only wanted me to succeed. I am an atheist/agnostic so not a believer in a magical man with a beard sorry, but I do believe the universe had us made for a reason and their could be a purpose and after life but it is okay if it should remain a mystery.

I learned a lot of good things about alcoholics anonymous which was for 90 nights because of my stay at the rehab. And I understood that it’s sometimes hard to apologize because I could get in trouble. Even the program wasn’t for me all the way. I feel like it’s for people who really need help. I don’t desire drinking and could take it or leave it and as for hard drugs it has been like over 8 years sober. So yeah, for me.

Steve, the alcoholics anonymous guy always made fun of me and thought I was going to end up back in rehab. But my last visit which was for mental health reasons was in 2017 and the most recent was 2023-2024. Not bad. But I know he just shows me tough love, and he is so smart. I try to call him sometimes, but hard to call every day. Doing what I do kind of leaves me exempt from meetings because I am sharing my story with millions probably, mainly government people and police and their families but I am sure I have reached other hearts, and hopefully I can win the good ones back and help the bad ones who were like me. I think being to much of a private person is a bad thing.

And I feel the need to share a lot of things, but I am still a private person and I respect people’s privacy and over the 10 years of web design I left out last names or even the names all together. But you know I love to help you guys smile and laugh and sometimes share me with family and friends. I will try my best, but don’t worry.

As for now I did give up the klonopin, and I went through chills for one day it was uncomfortable, but I am only on my antipsychotic now, and dropped weight again and working out a lot. Sex was less pleasurable on it, so I may give it up or only take it when I need it and when sex is not around the corner. I preferred the lowest dose of Xanax extended release, and I did not abuse it, for nighttime it lasts 12 hours in your body, I like to be sober though so its like an off and on thing. For anxiety and even off label makes me feel relaxed when I am tense.

The time I got aggressive on marijuana, I know it wasn’t a fit for me because I got paranoid so many times, and I felt like school was a chore, things were harder to accomplish, and I once wanted to hurt one of my relatives I won’t say who. It was a long time ago, but I was forgiven, weed is just bad for the brain in my opinion, although we have accepted hip hop it is popular, and under cover cops who hate it might have to smoke it to blend in, I assume.

And I love my therapist who has always believed in me and shown me love that was unconditional. I don’t deserve that sort of love, but I realize maybe I do, because I think we all can deserve that sort of love. She even protected me from someone who hated me, when I was making mistakes obviously, because my mental disorder did not allow me to understand or comprehend how other people would react. I shared once my blog with a chiropractor and he gave me my walking papers, but I am going to do what Steve taught me in Alcoholics Anonymous and forgive and make amends right here, Sorry if I pissed you off dude, I am just an entertainer and sometimes I just have to much fun and don’t realize when I am wrong, or maybe I like being a little shady and it is just for entertainment purposes and you were just mean to me, but I won’t name call you, you have a family probably and you are a good guy. I apologize for any inconvenience, good luck. My therapist did protect me, and I also didn’t go to rehab or get in trouble with the police for the website for like a long time till way later, some people just want to be super private and they don’t like entertainers, some people really hate Eminem and some people really hate Drake, but Drake and Eminem love to make music with messages, I make music with messages and a blog with messages. Not all my employers may like me but I should be given a second chance in life, I just do it to help fans going through depression or kids who want entertainment or even adults. It is a way of connecting without being to invasive.

I gave up sex in a way and maybe it was for the best. Having my secret girlfriend I pay once a week is a special treat. I love her deeply. Pretty women maybe but she smokes weed. Lol I will keep her anonymous and I hate weed. One day I will find a relationship I promise, I just need to get used to rejection with girls, because they rarely ask you out first, rejection is fine take it and be confident and not all girls will be compatible with you, because if you love drake or my website and you show it to a girl your dating she may be able to “agree to disagree and let you listen to me or drake” or she may hate me for no good reason, irrational hatred.

Lil Wayne but he’s extra chill Lofi CHILLAF

Tyler the Creator: 1 hour of chill songs

Eminem but he’s Chill AF Lofi mix A little explicit it has criminal in it as the first song but it sounded good the way they mixed it, remember Eminem has evolved as have I.

Kanye West but he’s toasty Toasty digital mix chillaf

50 Cent x Eminem but they are extra chill Lofi mix chillaf