Lol I asked out an Asian thick girl who works at a restaurant for the first time in a long time, but I was polite, and she told me she had a boyfriend but dam it felt so good like a rush came over me. I should try more often. It’s okay if I fail as long as I’m a gentleman and not a jerk you save the jerk part for when you’re in love. Lol my therapist believes in me though, she gave me better advice to ask how the girl is doing, and if she asks back how I am doing or what I do, or if I study then I could ask her out. But she is just working on my game, don’t tell anyone I took a benzo today to relax omg. Just not when sex is occurring.

I tried applying for a job at the hangry bison. I feel like crying because they did not get back to me. But it’s not their fault. My resume was done by a professional girl who works for Anita riggs at the healing house, and she is my therapist. But it was an accurate resume that I worked for my mother’s and father’s company. They have great burgers and polite staff, I like them. But maybe I am not worthy.

I was thinking of doing 1 class with a job in summer and 1 class in fall with less job. Maybe socialize, make friends and maybe one day a girlfriend. But oh well. I’m not good enough. Cry.

Anitta said though one day she will find me someone and I told her what about after I graduate Valencia the college that hates me lol. The school had me baker acted for my old content which is good it was the right thing to do. I learned a valuable lesson.

I love a lot of the teachers at that school. And eventually I will be going to UCF. 3 classes at a time probably for 3 years instead of 4. To graduate in Game Design.

I may or may not try to apply to Seito sushi or somewhere else. But I did ask Sakari sushi about bus boy spot and server, and they said they weren’t looking.

The manager at bison was a nice black man who was a professional and he explained to me that bus boy may be available but not server. Because servers who start off should work at TGI Fridays or red lobster so basically a chain. I thought about it. Not sure yet. But I would bus tables if I had to 5 hours for 4 days a week. Remember I want to socialize, and get discipline, but I am also working on my music again since school isn’t starting till summer, and I contemplated if I should take the hard math class for fall or summer, because if I do summer it is more intense, and I wonder if they make accommodations for my memory loss from the meds I am required to take, like giving me the formulas for the tests, or if I get prescribed a stimulant just for studying and for test day to make sure I am focused, and alert. The doctor just told me, make sure when you post so to say it is not delusional, or thinking rehabs steal your sperm etc. (so I speak fantasy and reality a blend of it, and spirituality as well which is acceptable to do I suppose.

Got back on a kolodopin today though after my day was over to relax my anxiety and made some coffee. When school starts and math especially, I will be off all benzos or only take them once a week as needed just don’t want to get in trouble, they can cause memory loss and lethargic feelings. Music sounds way better on it, an unusual side effect, not my fault.

Still swimming and going to the gym all the time. Sushi Sake is a great sushi place I order from them all the time. And Sakari is decent I’ve been in person with the family I once went out with the Asian cougar lady owner lol. And I love Seito sushi, it is great. I grew up as a kid eating Seito Sushi, it was a great experience.

I also like gators in Baldwin but not sure. Maybe job isn’t for me. I may have once shined a red laser at someone taking out the trash there, and he yelled to beat me up lol I was hanging with a black prostitute, lol that was a long time ago, maybe I am Jesus if I am hanging out with them. Just kidding lol I am not Jesus.

 However, I prefer my black lab Bella who doesn’t whine a lot. She listens. Over my labradoodle mocha who cries constantly and needs affection all the time. If I had a serious girlfriend or wife, I would love kids and I wouldn’t care if my kid were whining, I would take care of them. But a dog I have less desire to take care of if it’s one that requires so much attention.

Does that make me a bad person? Or will I be a great father one day.

But if I do decide to get a job it will only be part time, Orlando and Winter Park is nice, I am a rich spoiled boy, what can I say, hopefully my website will get me a bigger inheritance with lawyers, lmao they would give me such a hard time and make me famous as a stand up maybe or tour with music in my 50s, I don’t know, or maybe they just give me 10 or 20 million, no idea how much my family has. But because of being privileged I have been more guarded with who I let into my life, is that a bad thing?

Movies I recommend off the top of my head (Blade Runner with Ryan Gosling, Drive with him)

Bryan Cranston and Kevin Heart movie (google that line and you will find it)

From Dusk Till Dawn the first one with Quintin Tarantino and George Clooney it was good, it has strippers turning into vampires, maybe my stripper friends will turn into vampires and eat me lmao. The funny foot fetish scene in the movie was bold.

I know so many other shows and movies oh Homeland the Bipolar lady trying to save the world, and Ozark which I am finishing my 12th or 10th run watching that show, okay bye going to play more halo now, and Wesley is going to download Modern Warfare 3 like I did, I think halo infinite takes more skill because you can use cover and you have more shield in a gun fight but both games are good.

The Gentlemen (A guy Ritchie Series Official trailer) Netflix I loved the movie the Gentlemen with Matthew McConaughey, but this show was so much better, it shows the evolution of how he inherited his fathers weed empire in the UK, it involved murder, deception, rival families in the different drug trades, I watched all 8 episodes in rehab with my black friend Lamarque.

The Weeknd – 103.5 Dawn FM

Rick and morty 1 hour Chill & Drive (the bootleg boy)

Meditate & Relax Eggsy/Galahad Kingsman Ambient Music (Kingsman the secret Service)

Kingsman The Gold Circle Review (how the movie was made)

Kingsman The Secret Service (Fantasy movie)

Rick and morty – all opening scenes from season 1

Kendrick Lamar Swimming Pools (drank)

Kendrick Lamar Lofi 1 hour