I will prove Conservatives are bad people and I have decided to get off the benzo for now.

I have read that Xanax or kolodopin doesn’t cause weight gain etc. But I am deciding to get off it for now, just to see how it goes, maybe if I only took it at night, but still I feel like it opened my appetite. So definitely not going to take it for now, even though I like how it helps with anxiety.

Let me explain why being conservative can sometimes be a bad thing. You got the good kind of conservatives who respect liberals and who can coexist with one another. They just accept that, and it is as simple as that. And you got the other kind of conservative that judges the liberal too harshly. They would probably shoot liberals like you and me with guns if they could get away with it. Or they hate atheism and agnostics so bad they would do like the bible times and stone us. Oh, you had sex with too many people in your past, how could you share that. I am human and not perfect and mental health plays a role into all this.

However, I will say, if you find peace within yourself, and you follow your passions, if it is music or if it is being a police officer, or both even, or you love to do other things in general. Some people will love the light that shines from you, and some people will hate you. It is almost  like there is a false expectation from people that want me to just take down all my web design work, and live my life in private and never have a single thought public, even if it is a positive one, or one of remarkable change, or of mental health things I have learned about others and myself, or my fun stories, or my crazy funny music. They would rather it all be taken down and they don’t want me to utter a single word. Maybe they think the world would be better off if everyone carried a bible and maybe even a gun and hated black people and brought back segregation. One of the problems with me is I love black people so much I don’t see the problem with getting the n word pass like Drake. Only in music though or with a friend who is comfortable with saying that, but if the friend is uncomfortable with that, you avoid the word in conversation. Notice how I am explaining myself a lot more than I used to, when I was more irrational and sporadic.

I sometimes think of how many Youtubers there are, they have different cliques. I do not like the ones that make allegations or harp on the topics of child molesters and serial killers, it is so depressing, and it is so bad for your brain to absorb these sorts of things. But it is the poison from these people that reaches civilians who work in the real world, and they become managers and in rare cases owners if they don’t blow their inheritance like a fool. And they then judge people like me or Drake or Eminem for just having fun, not understanding professionalism stays at work and being fun on the internet on your YouTube channel or blog stays there.

Then you have the people who do not fully grasp what I am saying who read my work, and they say things like, “Oh who would ever hire this guy”, or “He doesn’t understand he is being so offensive.” These people usually never get hired at real corporations, they get hired at conservative restaurants where I probably would never get hired, just like they would never hire Eminem because of his jokes about serial killer even in his recent music etc. So in reality one day once I got my degree I should move to Los Angeles, where entertainers and co-workers merge and just about everyone working at any location such as a game design company or even a restaurant will have YouTube channels and cool family channels. And hey I respect the family, but some people don’t want to understand my mental health and apologies of it.

Should one just act defeated and give up on everything they believe in? I mean I respect Christians who can stick to their guns, but I will challenge their beliefs because of the eternal damnation thing. I think some people deserve more and some monsters may learn their lesson in prison, and some will not, but the universe is the one that decides the afterlife, it is all a mystery, we do not hold these answers.

I will end this conversation here. Because I go off on these rants, but now I explain myself better from both sides of the coin, if I only explain one side then it wouldn’t make any sense. And I obviously will tell you, conservatives who do not hire people with social lives or personal YouTube channels or websites are cowards in it of themselves, they believe they are superior to people like you and me because we love Eminem or Drake or because we say the n word with our friends. (no racism) etc. They think we cannot stand up for what we believe in, so we should just give up on all entertainment and listen to Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift only, lmao.

 

Trappin in Paradise 78

Trappin in Paradise 104

Phonk zone (Fry from Futurama)