I went to two rehabs, first one was FHE which saw me in my angry state, when I was not happy about the results of my baker act, and the coffee there was always available but it was never hot, and that is where the girls who falsely accused me of rape, before I turned a little racist on them, so I regret to say I made a mistake. But I also did apologize to one of the guys who worked there because they have 3 facilities, and I met a black guy who was strapping big muscles, I forgot his name, and I had to apologize to him because my conscience was bothering me. It felt good to make the girls mad but it was wrong revenge is no bueno. I guess. But the new facility was “Life Skills in Fort Lauderdale” they also have one in deer field and a PHP program.

I remember a guy named Linux who worked at Life Skills South Florida Fort Lauderdale at that rehab, and he was really nice, and we spoke about god and the afterlife. I told him I became an atheist over time, it just occurred in my time in rehab, but I told him theism has some credibility. So, like we all become Gods when we die, it is possible. And like all the staff members were black its like reverse slavery, the blacks were in charge of the white boys lmao. I thought it was hilarious, and one guy named D was like “Augusto no mo coffee.” I would imitate other staff members, and make fun of how they talk, I am such a comedian though.

It is possible that we don’t get God power right away when we die, we probably have to go through levels and it is never ending to become God. I almost had a conspiracy which is a delusion obviously or is this fantasy writing that people like Drake and Eminem are famous in their messages because they were angels in the past life reincarnated but there is no proof of that, and look at the 1,000s of sound cloud artist actually the millions of artist that probably struggle to become famous, it isn’t easy. So maybe the after life has better things for us, but I think suicide is not the way to get to the after life (if you think the after life is better that is fine, but remember killing yourself ruins the whole process, it is better to be miserable and lonely while you are learning.)

I know from experience because of my old suicide over 8 years ago I took too much GHB which I only used to sleep because I was on meth, sometimes I took sleeping pills prescribed to me, which worked, otherwise being tweaked on meth would cause a car crash. And when I overdosed at a gay club here in Orlando, I was resurrected (it is a bath house) they saved me but banned me from the club for a year or so.

I also told Linux a story about how if BoJack Horseman was a real person (notice delusion or fantasy when I write this) that would mean the universe that created us has a sense of humor and gave us humans horses, and maybe horse people with hands and feet and humanoid versions of them exist somewhere in another universe, and it gives children hope when they see animals because animals are like aliens. And Linux was a cool black man with white hair, older in his 60s very chill, I even told him he is closer to understanding, God and the after life then I am because of his age.

So maybe they have animal versions of humans on their planet, this is all fictional writing like futurama of course, but I would like to sometimes think one day the after life will be peaceful and beautiful for everyone, and maybe aliens can co-exist and we could visit each other either at any time or sometimes.

Also, my schizophrenia is complicated when I smoked meth I did something really delusional I would smoke the meth while sitting in front of a cable box, which I thought had a secret camera in it, I could have sworn a helicopter flew over my house once while I was doing this for like 3 minutes. I was so high so forgive me lmao, I was just enjoying the rush, but I gave that drug up.

I actually gave up the methamphetamine by using Xanax Extended release 0.5 mg and my sleeping pills and my withdrawals were not that bad, and I returned the drug to the drug dealer which was a set up, he was a real dealer but a narc also, he told me to go to one location then didn’t show up, and gave me a house address, as I was driving I was pulled over. One of the cops was Paul he was nice to me, I didn’t lie to them, but who is going to believe you can come off a hard drug like meth all by yourself, I was using it for like a month for weight loss, while losing like 10 pounds a week, and my mom was paying for me to go to a weight loss center, and the lady was shocked, I was like “Yeah I have been working out” lmao.

A great Rihanna chill af mix below with a smart a** comment I made, lol imagine me a Desperado one day.

I am now sharing tons of The Weeknd songs from the Kissland playlist from the Kissland album it has like 10 songs only, I love trilogy and all his newer stuff also but this takes me back.

The Weeknd Professional

The Weeknd The Town (You Deserve your name on a crown on a throne) Oh if I ever get a special lady

The Weeknd Adaption

The Weeknd Belong to the World Video

The Weeknd Live For ft. Drake Video

The Weeknd Pretty Video

click here but you need youtube account age restricted 18+

The Weeknd Tears In The Rain

Rihanna but she’s extra chill (lofi remix/slowed +Reverb) CHILL AF lmao Desperado maybe I will be an old man with my millions and a young thang who  is 25 lmao (Sued, Dead lmao) They made Rihanna sound like a man and I love women who sound like men lmao Just kidding nah its okay